Summer’s here, and honey, your hair needs to catch those rays in style! As your friendly neighborhood hair magician, I’ve seen trends come and go faster than my clients’ patience during a root touch-up. Let me walk you through the cuts that are so last season and introduce you to some radical ’90s revivals that’ll have everyone asking for your stylist’s number.
1. The Blunt, One-Length Bob
Darlings, that severe, ruler-straight bob is aging you faster than baking in the sun without SPF. Those harsh lines create shadows where your face needs light, especially during summer’s golden hours.
Instead, ask for subtle layers that move with the breeze. Your hair should dance, not stand at attention!
2. Overly Thinned-Out Ends
Though thinning shears were once my best friend, I’ve dumped them faster than a bad date. Those wispy, see-through ends make your hair look damaged rather than deliberately styled.
Fullness is your friend! Embrace weightier ends that catch the sunlight and give your mane substance and health.
3. The Super-Straight Ironed Look
Honey, that pin-straight, ironed-to-death style is as outdated as flip phones! Summer humidity will fight you every step of the way, leaving you with a sweaty neck and frizzy roots.
Why battle nature when you could embrace some texture? Your flat iron needs a vacation too!
4. The Disconnected Undercut
While I once shaved more sides than a barbershop quartet, that harsh disconnected undercut has lost its edge. The grow-out phase is brutal, turning summer into a hat-mandatory season.
Transitions should be seamless, like a good conversation – not jarring like accidentally using your ex’s toothbrush!
5. The Triangle Cut
If your hair gets wider toward the bottom and narrower at the crown, congratulations – you’re rocking the dreaded triangle cut! This shape screams ’80s PTA meeting, not summer 2023 beach goddess.
Your curls deserve better structure that works with – not against – their natural bounce.
6. The Heavy, Straight-Across Bang
Whoever convinced you that thick, blunt bangs work in summer heat was not your friend! Those heavy curtains become sweat magnets, causing breakouts and styling nightmares when humidity strikes.
Summer calls for freedom – your forehead should be able to breathe too!
7. The Mullet Revival (Gone Wrong)
Listen, I love a good comeback story, but that half-hearted mullet attempt is more ‘confused soccer parent’ than ‘rock star cool.’ Business in front, identity crisis in back!
Modern mullets need precision and personality. Without the right proportions, you’re just sporting an accidental grow-out phase.
8. The Over-Layered Shag
Layers are like tequila shots – fantastic in moderation, disastrous in excess. Those over-layered shags that look like a crafting project gone wrong create frizz cities in summer humidity.
Strategic layers should enhance your texture, not fight with it like cats in an alley!
9. The Grown-Out Ombré
That harsh line between your natural color and three-year-old bleached ends isn’t ombré – it’s a cry for help! Summer sunlight highlights color crimes like a detective with a magnifying glass.
Color should melt seamlessly, like butter on hot toast, not create a visible border dispute!
10. The Overly Feathered Cut
While Farrah Fawcett remains an eternal goddess, those excessive feathered layers make you look like you’re stuck in a time warp. Each feathered piece becomes a separate entity in summer humidity.
Modern texture should flow together, not create a flock of hair-birds trying to escape your head!
11. The ’90s Chunky Highlights
Remember those thick, stripy highlights that screamed ’90s pop star? They’re back – but with a modern twist! Today’s version features softer blending between chunks for dimension without the zebra effect.
Ask for ‘money pieces’ that frame your face with sun-kissed brightness. Perfect for summer’s carefree vibes!
12. The Face-Framing Butterfly Cut
Imagine your cheekbones taking flight! This ’90s-inspired cut features shorter face-framing layers that open up your features like butterfly wings, with longer lengths for movement.
Unlike the harsh ‘Rachel’ cut, today’s butterfly layers blend seamlessly. They’re practically begging for a slow-motion hair toss!
13. The Bouncy Bob With Curtain Bangs
If Winona Ryder and Drew Barrymore had a hair baby, this would be it! The ’90s bob is back with more bounce, body, and those dreamy curtain bangs that part effortlessly.
Unlike its predecessor, today’s version embraces natural texture. Summer humidity becomes your styling assistant rather than your sworn enemy!
14. The Textured Pixie Crop
Channel your inner ’90s Winona with this textured pixie that’s equal parts edgy and effortless. Unlike the flat, bowl-like crops of yesteryear, today’s version celebrates piece-y texture and movement.
Bonus: Nothing feels better in summer heat than the breeze on your neck! Short hair, don’t care!
15. The Bixie (Bob-Pixie Hybrid)
Why choose between a bob and pixie when you can have both? This ’90s comeback combines the best of both worlds – longer than a pixie but shorter than a bob.
With choppy layers and tons of texture, it’s giving major Meg Ryan in ‘You’ve Got Mail’ energy but with a fresh 2023 twist!