Hello lovely readers! I’m your spirited hairstylist today, ready to guide you through the whimsical world of perms for the young-at-heart. Picture this: your hair, a canvas, and each curl a stroke of artistry. However, dear friends, the wrong perm can add years to your look faster than you can say ‘curl catastrophe.’ Join me on this follicular adventure as we explore 15 perm hairstyles that might age you and three styling blunders that could be the cherry on top of a hair-raising summer.
1. The Curly Cube
How about a hair cube? If you want to be mistaken for a topiary, the curly cube’s your best bet. Those tightly packed curls form a geometric hedge on your head. While it’s a conversation starter, you’ll soon find only the most daring garden gnomes approach. One windy day, and you might even feel like a dandelion! A fun fact: this style was popular among French aristocrats in the 18th century. But unless you’re hosting a time-travel tea party, best give it a pass.
2. Poodle Perm
Why chase your youth when you can resemble a perky poodle? The poodle perm is perfect if you’re keen on channeling your inner canine. But unless you’re wagging a tail, it’s bound to age you. While your curls bounce, so will unsolicited comparisons to fluffy pets. Believe it or not, this style was inspired by the French elite’s fondness for their four-legged friends. Opt for something softer if you’d rather avoid the dog show circuit.
3. The Granny Glam
Where elegance meets eccentricity, we find the Granny Glam perm. This style’s like a classic Hollywood diva who’s taken to wearing her grandmother’s clothes. It might scream vintage chic, but it also whispers ‘add a decade or two.’ Keep it joyful with bright accessories, but be wary—while you channel Bette Davis, you might also summon her age! How about something more subtle, unless you’re starring in a vintage film festival?
4. The Tight Twirl
Ever wonder what it’s like to have springs for hair? The tight twirl has you covered! This style adds volume and bounce but also the uncanny sensation of wearing a mattress spring on your scalp. Though it may seem youthful, its robust texture can add years. Experience life as a bouncy ball, but remember, less coil equals less toil. Beware the twirl if you don’t fancy bobbing along like a spring chicken on its way to market!
5. The Roller Coaster
If hair were a funfair ride, this perm would be the roller coaster. With loops and spirals, it promises thrills but also tends to spin you right back to the 80s. You’ll experience highs and lows, leaving you as dizzy as a tilt-a-whirl. While nostalgia might be chic, this isn’t a ride everyone wants to board. Enjoy the fun of youthful exuberance, but maybe skip the perm that screams ‘retro theme park’.
6. The Granny Wave
The Granny Wave is genteel, like a leisurely stroll through a vintage photo album. It’s stately, sophisticated, and a tad sleepy. Yet, its overly refined waves might make you look like you’re ready for a 1940s lounge, rather than a summer soirée. While it offers a nod to the classics, it could also tuck you in for a nap. Add a modern twist if you want to jazz it up without aging yourself like fine wine gone stale.
7. The Spiral Surprise
Surprises are fun, but not when they come in the form of spiraling curls that may as well be an extra in a circus act. Spirals are whimsical, sure, but they can easily walk the fine line from fabulous to fusty. It’s a hairdo that lives on the edge of eccentricity, begging for a splash of free spirit. Yet, too much spiral can twist your years into a conundrum better left unsolved. A softer curve is a less spiraled path to youthful charm.
8. Corkscrew Cascade
A cascade of corkscrews might sound like fun until it resembles a dollop of zoo animal tails. These tight curls showcase vibrancy but often come with the risk of a ‘corkscrew explosion.’ Each bounce could be a reminder of circus tents and carnival queues. While it brings energy, it potentially throws in an extra decade. Consider reserving this style for costume parties unless you’re aiming to channel your inner Harlequin daily.
9. Tight Topiaries
Your head as a garden feature? With Tight Topiaries, your curls mimic those curated shrubs. It’s a sculptural feat, but also a horticultural hazard if you’re not careful. This living art piece comes with upkeep more suited for a topiary competition than everyday ease. Unless you’re a seasoned gardener at heart, these curls might plant the seeds of regret. Opt for a more natural garden path to keep your hair lush and lively, without the hedge trimmer.
10. The Fluffy Cloud
Dream of floating on a cloud? The Fluffy Cloud perm offers that visual, but it’s like having a cumulus on your head. Though light and airy, it risks making you look like you’ve stepped out of a weather report. These voluminous curls can add dimension—and years—if you’re not attentive. While they might suggest whimsy, they often tumble into the territory of the tempestuous. Consider a more grounded approach, unless you’re auditioning for a role as Mother Nature.
11. Elderly Ringlets
Ringlets are the prima donnas of curls, often strutting their stuff at the expense of subtlety. They harken back to a time of debutantes and drawing rooms. While they ripple with elegance, they can also cement the image of yesteryear. These curls demand attention but at the cost of fresh modernity. Wear them if you must, but be prepared for whispers of ‘Victorian’. Dial it down for a contemporary twist that doesn’t steal the show like a period drama.
12. The Tight Ringlet
Tight ringlets are like the overachievers of the curl world—always performing but sometimes too much for their own good. These snug curls can make you the star of yesterday’s movie, echoing with vintage flair. While they whisper ‘glamour,’ they also shout ‘golden oldie!’ If you’re not careful, you might find yourself cast as the grand dame instead of the ingénue. Loosen up those curls for a less rigid story, unless you’re writing your own classic.
13. Permed Mullet
The mullet: business in the front, party in the back—a hairstyle that’s never met a decade it couldn’t date. A permed mullet is like putting lipstick on a time machine. Sure, it’s bold, but it’s also a neon sign for ‘stuck in the past.’ While it ticks the box for audacity, it also ages you by default. Keep your sense of adventure, but perhaps consider a style that doesn’t yell ‘I love the 80s!’ every time you step out.
14. Bouffant Blowout
The bouffant blowout is the queen of volume, a towering monument to hair everywhere. This style makes a statement, but that statement might be ‘I need a bigger car to fit my hair.’ While it offers regal allure, it also risks toppling into the realm of the ridiculous. Yes, it’s a head-turner, but remember, even queens know when to abdicate. Temper the volume for elegance without extravagance, unless you’re competing for the tallest hairdo in town.
15. The Bubble Perm
The bubble perm brings back visions of soda fountains and jukeboxes. These bubbly curls are as effervescent as they are anachronistic. While they invite nostalgia, they can also age you back to when swing was king. It’s a hairstyle that dances with history, but might leave you stuck in a bygone era. If you’re not careful, you could find yourself mistaken for a time traveler. Keep the bubbles light if you want to avoid the fizzy pitfalls of the past.
16. The Flat Perm
Despite its name, the flat perm isn’t a flatline in style—it’s more like a flat tire in vitality. These relaxed curls have all the enthusiasm of a rainy day picnic. They promise easy maintenance but deliver a lackluster vibe. Though it whispers ‘understated elegance,’ it also murmurs ‘low energy.’ Seek more lively locks unless you want your style to be as flat as an out-of-tune piano, playing a melody of monotony.
17. The Over-Teased Tease
Teasing your hair might sound fun until you end up with a bird’s nest on your head. The over-teased tease is a daring dance between volume and chaos. While it elevates your hair, it might also elevate your age. It’s the hairstyle equivalent of shouting ‘look at me,’ but not everyone wants to listen. Consider a softer approach unless you’re aiming to become the talk of the aviary.
18. Frizzy Frenzy
Frizzy Frenzy is the wild child of hairstyles, full of spirit but also static. It’s the hair equivalent of a summer storm—exciting yet unpredictable. While frizz speaks of carefree fun, it can also lead you down a tangled path of aging woes. Let your hair be free, but not too free. Control the frizz to keep from looking like a lightning strike survivor, unless you’re going for the natural disaster chic.