Ah, the 1980s—a decade of bold fashion statements where hair reached new heights, quite literally. As a hairstylist who’s seen it all, let me guide you through a nostalgic tour of 28 cringeworthy ’80s hair trends we’re thrilled to leave in the past. Grab a comb and some hairspray, and let’s enjoy this humorous journey!
1. The Mullet
Remember the mullet? Business in the front, party in the back! Though it might have been all the rage for rock stars and rebels, today it’s more of a punchline. With its sharp transitions, it screamed ‘look at me,’ but perhaps for the wrong reasons. Embrace the laughs, not the look!
2. The Perm
Ah, the perm—a hairstyle that turned heads and frizzed friends. If you’ve never smelt a perm solution, count yourself lucky. Curls were the name of the game, but often the result was more sheep than chic. These days, we opt for softer waves, leaving the perm’s crispy curls behind.
3. Feathered Bangs
Feathered bangs flew into the hearts of many, but like the birds they mimicked, they’ve taken flight away from modern style. Their airy layers seemed whimsical but often ended up as more hassle than highlight. The constant need to fluff and spray makes them a relic best admired in photos.
4. Rat Tails
Oh, the infamous rat tail—where less was questionably more. A solitary strip of long hair dangling down the back, it was the rebellious cousin of the mullet. While it made a statement, it wasn’t always the fashion-forward one. Today, we leave tails for our furry friends.
5. Crimped Hair
Crimped hair was all about texture, resembling a zigzagged road to fashion no-no land. Created with hot tools that left hair crunchy, crimped styles were edgy but rarely flattering. Nowadays, we prefer sleek or natural textures, letting crimping irons gather dust as style memories.
6. Jheri Curls
Famous for their glossy shine and bounce, Jheri curls required dedication to upkeep. Though they achieved a slick look, the constant maintenance left hair greasy and furniture stained. In today’s world, we cherish our natural curls without the need for constant spritzing and shining.
7. The Hi-Top Fade
The hi-top fade soared high in the ’80s, making heads quite literally stand out. With its sharp angles and skyscraper heights, it was a favorite in hip-hop culture. While iconic then, it’s a look best appreciated in music videos, not everyday life. We now opt for more grounded styles.
8. Side Ponytail
The side ponytail—bouncy and brimming with youthful exuberance. While it added a playful tilt to any ensemble, this asymmetrical style often teetered on the edge of childish. Today, we prefer symmetry and sophistication over the schoolyard swing of a lopsided pony.
9. Punk Rock Mohawk
Mohawks, with their razor-sharp spikes and bold colors, defined rebellion. A staple in punk culture, they turned heads and demanded attention. However, maintaining those spikes was no easy feat, often requiring more gel than style sense. Now, we admire from afar, sans the sticky upkeep.
10. Big Hair Bows
Hair bows in the ’80s were not just bows; they were statements! Oversized and often bedazzled, they adorned heads with an unmistakable flair. Though charming in childhood photos, these bows have grown out of style as we’ve matured. Now, we favor subtler accessories over flamboyant frills.
11. Scrunched Curls
The scrunched curl was a dance floor favorite, full of chaotic bounce. Achieved with gel and fervent scrunching, it was less about definition and more about volume. Though it brought life to many a night out, today we seek defined curls that don’t resemble an untamed bush.
12. Frosted Tips
Frosted tips glistened under disco lights, a shimmering beacon of style missteps. This trend involved bleaching the ends of hair, giving a frosty finish that was more chilly than chic. While it added a light touch to dark locks, modern styles steer clear of this frosty faux pas.
13. The Shag
The shag was a layered look that seemed to shout, ‘I just rolled out of bed!’ Though it aimed for an effortlessly tousled effect, often it just looked untamed. While it had its bohemian moments, today we prefer styles that whisper rather than scream their presence.
14. Teased Bangs
Teased bangs were the crowning glory of many an ’80s updo, adding altitude and attitude. By teasing hair to new heights with combs and spray, they created a cloud of volume that defied gravity. Today, we gently tease our strands, leaving the towering bangs to nostalgic memories.
15. The Shaved Stripe
Shaved stripes pulled focus to the sides of heads, creating a contrast that was less ‘cool’ and more ‘why?’. This trend involved buzzing lines or shapes into hair, offering a rebellious touch. Though striking at the time, it’s a look best left to the archives of bold fashion choices.
16. Gelled Spikes
Gelled spikes were a pinnacle of ’80s hair architecture, defying wind and weather. Constructed with copious amounts of gel, these spikes were sharp enough to stop traffic. Though they captured the edgy spirit of the time, today we go for softer, touchable styles that won’t poke an eye out.
17. The Bouffant
The bouffant was all about volume—big, bold, and beautiful. Yet, achieving such height involved backcombing, hairspray, and more patience than most possess today. While it exuded elegance then, the effort has since given way to styles that are chic without the towering tease.
18. The Rat’s Nest
The rat’s nest wasn’t an official style, but an unfortunate result of too much teasing and spraying. Hair would get tangled and matted, resembling an actual nest. Though it added volume, it often left you with more mess than success. Today, we untangle ourselves from such trends.
19. The Flat Top
The flat top was a geometric marvel, making heads appear boxy with its precise angles. Popular among athletes and entertainers, it was both a statement and a spectacle. While impressive, the meticulous maintenance it required ensures it remains a style of the past.
20. The Bowl Cut
The bowl cut, named for its shape, seemed to be a universal ‘mom cut’ for children. Practical but bland, it offered little in terms of personal expression. Though easy for DIY home cuts, in today’s world, we opt for styles with a bit more flair and individuality.
21. The Banana Clip
Banana clips held hair with a firm grip, creating a cascade effect that was part elegance, part awkward. Though they managed to gather hair effortlessly, the resulting look often resembled a time machine to life in the wild. Today we prefer clips that complement, not overwhelm our styles.
22. The Jerry Curl
The Jerry curl—a slick, shiny hairstyle that was a staple in the ’80s music scene. It brought curls to life but required extensive upkeep and product. Often leaving behind a greasy residue, this look is cherished in music videos but not in modern hair routines.
23. The Finger Wave
Finger waves made waves with their intricate, sculpted design. While they brought an old Hollywood glamour, achieving them was a meticulous process. Though they graced red carpets, today’s styles lean towards effortless waves that don’t require a studio set of tools and time.
24. The Scrunchie
Scrunchies were the fabric-softened accessory of choice for tying up hair. While they added a playful pop of color, the bulk often overshadowed the hairstyle itself. Though they’ve seen a resurgence, we now wear them with a nod to nostalgia rather than necessity.
25. The Ducktail
The ducktail took flight in popularity, with its slicked-back sides meeting at the nape. Though it was the epitome of cool, the upkeep of keeping those feathers in line was no easy task. Today, we fly towards styles that require less hairpin precision.
26. The Surfer Blonde
Surfer blonde highlights, sun-kissed and salt-sprayed, captured the carefree spirit of the beach. However, the bleach often left hair brittle and frayed. While the look was laid-back, the damage was not. Nowadays, we seek healthy, sun-kissed looks without the harsh chemicals.
27. The Flattop with Fenders
Flattops with fenders added wings to the classic flat top, creating a shape that was both unique and challenging to maintain. Though eye-catching, the effort involved made it a short-lived trend. Today, we admire from a distance, preferring styles that don’t require daily architecture.
28. The Waterfall Braid
The waterfall braid cascaded elegantly down the back, a design marvel that sparkled in its complexity. Yet, creating it was a time-consuming task, often requiring more hands than one. While it had its red-carpet moments, today we favor braids that flow without the need for a team of stylists.